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How to Be More Confident: Expert Lessons from Diary of a CEO

Confidence is the most misunderstood skill in personal development. Most people think it's something you're born with — you either have it or you don't. But across 450+ Diary of a CEO episodes, psychologists, entrepreneurs, athletes, and performers have all said the same thing: confidence is a skill you build through action, not a trait you inherit. Steven Bartlett himself went from a broke dropout to a multi-millionaire entrepreneur — not because he was naturally confident, but because he learned how to act despite fear. Here's everything you need to know about building real, lasting confidence from the world's top experts.

"Confidence is not 'I will be great at this.' Confidence is 'I'll be okay if I'm not great at this.'"

— Dr. Julie Smith, Clinical Psychologist (Diary of a CEO)

The Psychology of Confidence: What the Science Says

Dr. Julie Smith, one of the most popular guests on Diary of a CEO, explains that confidence is the byproduct of competence plus action. You can't think your way to confidence — you have to do your way to it.

The neuroscience backs this up. Every time you do something uncomfortable and survive, your brain rewires. The amygdala (fear center) calms down, and the prefrontal cortex (rational brain) gains more control. Over time, what once terrified you becomes routine.

Strategy 1: The Goggins Method — Embrace Discomfort

David Goggins, ultra-endurance athlete and Navy SEAL, appeared on Diary of a CEO with one message: confidence comes from doing what sucks.

The Accountability Mirror

Goggins' daily practice: stand in front of a mirror and tell yourself the truth. Not affirmations ("I'm amazing!") — the brutal truth about where you're weak, where you're avoiding discomfort, and what you need to do today to improve.

Why it works: Self-deception kills confidence. When you're honest about your weaknesses, you stop fearing exposure — because you already know the truth.

Goggins' rule: Do one thing every day that scares you. Cold shower, hard workout, difficult conversation. Small acts of courage compound into unshakeable confidence.

Strategy 2: The Bren— Brown Method — Vulnerability as Strength

Dr. Bren— Brown, shame researcher and author, completely reframes confidence. Most people think confidence means appearing invincible. Bren—'s research shows the opposite: confidence requires vulnerability.

The Arena Speech

"It's not the critic who counts. It's the person in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood... who at the best knows the triumph of high achievement, and at the worst, fails while daring greatly." — Theodore Roosevelt (quoted by Bren—)

The lesson: Confident people aren't fearless. They're willing to be seen trying, failing, and learning in public.

Bren—'s practice: Own your story before someone else does. Talk openly about your failures, insecurities, and mistakes. When you stop hiding, criticism loses its power.

Strategy 3: The Steven Bartlett Method — Build Evidence

Steven has shared his own confidence journey multiple times on the podcast. He wasn't confident at 18, 21, or even 25. His confidence came from building a stack of evidence that he could figure things out.

The Confidence Stacking Framework

Set a micro-goal: Something small and achievable (e.g., "Post on LinkedIn 3x this week").
Do it: No excuses, no perfect conditions. Just do it.
Document the win: Write it down. Your brain forgets wins and remembers failures. Force it to see the pattern of success.
Increase difficulty: Next week, make it slightly harder.

Why it works: Confidence is built on proof. Every small win becomes evidence that you're capable.

Strategy 4: The Mo Gawdat Method — Reframe Failure

Mo Gawdat, former Chief Business Officer at Google X, teaches that confidence collapses when you tie your self-worth to outcomes. If success = confidence, then failure = worthlessness. That's a recipe for anxiety.

The Happiness Equation (Applied to Confidence)

Confidence ≥ Action — Attachment to Outcome

The more attached you are to a specific outcome (getting the job, the date, the sale), the less confident you'll feel. Because now your identity is on the line.

The fix: Define success as trying, not winning. "I'm confident because I showed up" — not "I'm confident because I succeeded."

Strategy 5: The Alex Hormozi Method — Volume Over Perfection

Alex Hormozi built multiple 8-figure businesses and attributes his confidence to one principle: volume creates clarity.

When Alex was terrified of sales calls, he didn't "work on his confidence." He made 100 calls. By call 50, he was decent. By call 100, he was confident.

The Reps Over Feelings Rule

Confidence doesn't come from feeling ready. It comes from doing the thing so many times that your brain stops treating it as a threat.

Application: Want confidence in public speaking? Give 20 talks. Want confidence in dating? Go on 30 dates. Want confidence in sales? Make 100 calls.

Strategy 6: The Matthew McConaughey Method — Define Your Identity

Matthew McConaughey walked away from $15M romantic comedy roles because he wanted to be known as a serious actor. That's a confidence move — choosing long-term identity over short-term validation.

The Identity Statement

McConaughey wrote a statement defining who he is and who he's becoming. Not what he does — who he is.

Example: "I'm the kind of person who does hard things." When faced with a scary decision, ask: "What would that person do?"

Strategy 7: The Dr. Rangan Chatterjee Method — Fix Your Biology

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee explains that confidence isn't just psychological — it's biological. Chronic stress, poor sleep, and nutrient deficiencies wreck your ability to feel confident.

Cortisol: High cortisol (stress hormone) makes you anxious, reactive, and insecure.
Testosterone: Low testosterone (in men and women) correlates with low confidence.
Sleep: Less than 7 hours per night and your prefrontal cortex (decision-making, self-control) shuts down.

Action steps: 20 minutes morning sunlight, 7-9 hours sleep, strength training 3x/week, reduce alcohol and sugar.

Common Confidence Myths (Debunked by DOAC Guests)

Myth: Confident people don't feel fear. False. They feel fear and act anyway. (David Goggins, Bren— Brown)
Myth: Confidence comes from success. Backwards. Action creates confidence, which creates success. (Steven Bartlett)
Myth: You need to "fake it till you make it." Half-true. Fake the behavior (posture, tone), but stay grounded in reality. (Dr. Julie Smith)
Myth: Confident people never doubt themselves. False. They doubt themselves constantly — but don't let doubt stop action. (Matthew Hussey)

The 30-Day Confidence Challenge

Based on strategies from Diary of a CEO guests, here's a 30-day plan to build real confidence:

Days 1-10: Micro-Actions. Do one uncomfortable thing daily (cold shower, talk to stranger, post online).
Days 11-20: Skill Building. Pick one skill (public speaking, writing, sales) and do 10 reps.
Days 21-30: Social Exposure. Share your work publicly. Get feedback. Iterate.

Track your progress. Write down every small win. By day 30, you'll have 30 pieces of evidence that you're capable.

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Watch the Full Confidence Episodes

Dive deeper into confidence-building with these Diary of a CEO episodes:

The Bottom Line

Confidence isn't a personality trait — it's a skill built through action, discomfort, and self-awareness. The experts on Diary of a CEO all say the same thing: stop waiting to feel confident before you act. Act first, and confidence will follow.

Start small. Do one uncomfortable thing today. Document the win. Repeat tomorrow. In 30 days, you'll be a different person.

For more personal growth lessons and podcast summaries, visit DiaryOfCEO.online — the complete archive of Steven Bartlett's Diary of a CEO podcast.