My Narcissistic Mum Sacrificed My Childhood For Fame!
Key Takeaways
- Child stardom comes at an enormous psychological cost. Cole describes being thrust into the spotlight before he could consent, with his childhood essentially becoming a commodity for others to profit from.
- Narcissistic parenting creates deep identity confusion. When a parent's sense of self is tied to their child's success, the child learns to perform rather than develop an authentic sense of who they are.
- Fame in childhood distorts your understanding of relationships. Cole describes struggling to know whether people liked him for who he was or for his celebrity, a confusion that persisted well into adulthood.
- Photography became Cole's path to reclaiming his identity. After years of being in front of the camera against his will, choosing to be behind it gave him agency and creative expression on his own terms.
- Healing from a narcissistic parent requires grieving the childhood you didn't have. Cole emphasizes that acceptance — not bitterness — is what ultimately sets you free.
- Society romanticizes child stardom while ignoring its victims. Cole calls for more conversation about the exploitation inherent in putting children in the entertainment industry.
The Hidden Cost of Child Stardom
Cole Sprouse opens this deeply personal conversation by describing what it was really like growing up as one of the most recognizable child actors in the world. From 'Big Daddy' with Adam Sandler to 'The Suite Life of Zack & Cody' on Disney Channel, Cole's childhood was anything but normal. He describes the surreal experience of being recognized everywhere as a child, unable to understand why strangers knew his name.
The conversation takes a raw turn when Cole discusses his mother's role in his early career. He describes her as narcissistic — someone whose sense of identity and worth became entirely wrapped up in her children's fame and success. Cole explains how this dynamic meant his childhood feelings, needs, and boundaries were consistently subordinated to the demands of the industry and his mother's emotional needs.
Identity Crisis and the Disney Machine
Cole describes the particular challenge of forming an identity when the world already has one assigned to you. As a Disney star, he was expected to maintain a wholesome, approachable persona at all times. Any deviation — normal teenage rebellion, emotional struggles, interest in darker art — was discouraged or punished. This created a profound disconnection between his public self and his inner experience.
He discusses the transition from child actor to adult, which he calls one of the hardest things he's ever done. The industry largely discards child stars once they age out of their marketable window, and many former child actors struggle with addiction, mental health crises, and identity confusion. Cole credits his twin brother Dylan and a conscious decision to step away from acting temporarily with helping him survive this transition.
Photography as Salvation
One of the most moving parts of the conversation is Cole's description of how photography saved him. After spending his entire childhood being photographed — often without his meaningful consent — choosing to pick up a camera and be behind the lens was a radical act of reclaiming agency. Photography gave him a way to express himself creatively on his own terms, without the pressure of performance or public expectation.
Cole describes photography as a form of meditation and therapy. Through his lens, he could observe the world quietly, without being the object of observation. This shift in perspective was transformative for his mental health and his sense of self.
Healing and Forgiveness
Steven pushes Cole on his relationship with his mother today. Cole's answer is nuanced — he describes a process of understanding that his mother was herself a product of her own unresolved trauma, and that her narcissism was a coping mechanism rather than deliberate cruelty. This understanding doesn't excuse the harm done, but it creates space for compassion.
Cole emphasizes that healing from a narcissistic parent requires grieving the childhood you didn't have — the normal experiences, the unconditional love, the freedom to be a kid. He describes this grief as ongoing rather than something that reaches a neat resolution, but insists that engaging with it honestly is far better than suppressing it.
Notable Quotes
"I was famous before I could spell my own name. That does something to your brain that you spend the rest of your life untangling."— Cole Sprouse, On growing up as a child star
"My mother's identity was so wrapped up in our fame that she couldn't see us as children anymore — just as extensions of herself."— Cole Sprouse, On narcissistic parenting
"The hardest part of child stardom isn't the fame. It's never knowing if anyone actually likes you for you."— Cole Sprouse, On the relationship confusion caused by fame
"Photography saved my life. After a lifetime of being in front of the camera, choosing to be behind it was the most rebellious thing I ever did."— Cole Sprouse, On finding identity through art
"You have to grieve the childhood you didn't have before you can fully live the adulthood you want."— Cole Sprouse, On healing from childhood trauma
"Society celebrates child stars without ever asking what it costs the child. We need to have that conversation."— Cole Sprouse, On the exploitation in child entertainment
Frequently Asked Questions
What did Cole Sprouse say about his mother on Diary of a CEO?
Cole described his mother as narcissistic, explaining that her identity became entirely wrapped up in her children's fame and success. He said her emotional needs were consistently prioritized over his childhood needs, and that she couldn't see her children as individuals separate from their celebrity.
What episode of Diary of a CEO is Cole Sprouse on?
Cole Sprouse appears on Diary of a CEO Episode 229 (E229), titled 'My Narcissistic Mum Sacrificed My Childhood For Fame!' Published on March 13, 2023, with over 6.8 million YouTube views.
How did Cole Sprouse cope with child stardom?
Cole credits photography with saving his mental health. After years of being photographed without meaningful consent, choosing to be behind the camera gave him creative agency. He also temporarily stepped away from acting and credits his twin brother Dylan as a key support system.