World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety
Key Takeaways
- Overthinking is not a personality trait — it's a habit that can be broken. Dr Smith explains that the brain defaults to rumination when it lacks clear direction, and provides specific techniques to interrupt the cycle.
- Anxiety is your body's alarm system, not your enemy. The goal isn't to eliminate anxiety but to recalibrate the system so it fires appropriately rather than constantly.
- Breathing techniques are the fastest way to regulate your nervous system. Dr Smith prescribes extended exhale breathing (inhale for 4, exhale for 6-8) as the single most accessible tool for immediate anxiety relief.
- Self-esteem is built through action, not affirmation. Telling yourself you're great doesn't work — doing difficult things and proving to yourself that you can handle challenges does.
- Your relationship with failure determines your mental health. People who see failure as information rather than identity have dramatically lower rates of anxiety and depression.
- Understanding that you are going to die is paradoxically liberating. Mortality awareness helps prioritize what actually matters and reduces anxiety about trivial concerns.
Understanding the Overthinking Mind
Dr Julie Smith begins by normalizing the experience of overthinking. She explains that the brain is essentially a prediction machine — it's constantly trying to anticipate threats and solve problems. Overthinking is what happens when this system goes into overdrive, running through worst-case scenarios on a loop without reaching resolution.
The key insight is that overthinking feels productive but isn't. The brain tricks you into believing that if you just think about the problem a little more, you'll find the answer. In reality, rumination strengthens the neural pathways associated with worry, making future overthinking more likely. It's a self-reinforcing cycle.
Practical Tools for Anxiety Management
Dr Smith provides specific, evidence-based tools for managing anxiety. Her primary recommendation is extended exhale breathing — inhaling for four counts and exhaling for six to eight. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling to your body that you're safe and can stand down from high alert.
She also discusses the importance of physical movement, exposure therapy (gradually facing feared situations), and cognitive defusion — the practice of observing your thoughts as events in the mind rather than facts about reality. She emphasizes that these tools require practice; they work best when trained during calm periods so they're available during crises.
Building Genuine Self-Esteem
One of the most impactful segments is Dr Smith's discussion of self-esteem. She argues that the modern self-help approach of positive affirmations is largely ineffective. Telling yourself 'I am confident' when you don't believe it creates cognitive dissonance that can actually worsen self-esteem.
Instead, genuine self-esteem is built through behavioral evidence. When you do something difficult — have a hard conversation, start a project you've been avoiding, exercise when you don't feel like it — you provide your brain with proof that you are capable. This evidence-based self-esteem is resilient because it's built on real experience rather than wishful thinking.
The Gift of Mortality Awareness
The conversation takes a philosophical turn when Steven asks about death. Dr Smith makes the counterintuitive argument that regularly contemplating your own mortality is one of the most powerful anxiety-reduction tools available. When you truly internalize that your time is limited, trivial worries lose their power. The things that genuinely matter — relationships, health, meaning — come into sharp focus.
Notable Quotes
"Overthinking feels productive, but it's not. It's your brain running on a hamster wheel, going nowhere while exhausting you."— Dr Julie Smith, On the nature of overthinking
"Anxiety isn't your enemy — it's a miscalibrated alarm system. The goal isn't to silence it but to recalibrate it."— Dr Julie Smith, On reframing anxiety
"Self-esteem isn't built by telling yourself you're great. It's built by doing hard things and proving you can handle them."— Dr Julie Smith, On building genuine confidence
"Extended exhale breathing is the closest thing to a panic button reset we have. Four counts in, six to eight counts out."— Dr Julie Smith, On practical anxiety tools
"Your relationship with failure is the single best predictor of your mental health."— Dr Julie Smith, On the role of failure in well-being
"Thinking about death isn't morbid — it's clarifying. Nothing puts your problems in perspective like remembering you won't be here forever."— Dr Julie Smith, On mortality awareness
Frequently Asked Questions
What did Dr Julie Smith say about anxiety on Diary of a CEO?
Dr Smith explained that anxiety is a miscalibrated alarm system, not an enemy to eliminate. She provided practical tools including extended exhale breathing (inhale 4, exhale 6-8), physical movement, exposure therapy, and cognitive defusion techniques.
What episode of Diary of a CEO is Dr Julie Smith on?
Dr Julie Smith appears on Episode 122 (E122), 'World Leading Psychologist: How To Detach From Overthinking & Anxiety.' Published February 14, 2022, with over 4.1 million YouTube views.
How does Dr Julie Smith recommend building self-esteem?
Dr Smith argues positive affirmations don't work. Instead, self-esteem is built through action — doing difficult things and proving to yourself you can handle challenges. This behavioral evidence creates resilient confidence.